Life as a Pastor's Wife...Again

A few weeks ago, Alex was hired as the Youth Pastor at Community Church of Big Bear. With that comes so much joy and excitement, and also reminders of our life before. Before we were so hurt by a church that I didn't know how I would step foot in one again. Before we lost our home, our friends, our security, our dreams. It is bittersweet to be so reminded of the ministry we had in Kansas. This new life in Big Bear has taken the sting and pain that we've been living with since last summer, and even before, and transforming it. God is taking our story of pain and proving to us that He was in it, and that He has so much more than that for us. Our dreams there were small, and He wanted bigger. Our idea of joy was paltry compared to what we are now experiencing, and this new joy is nothing compared to what He has in store for us.

The past 6 months have been so full of change and uncertainty. And that hasn't completely gone away, but I have been seeing God answer prayers that I didn't even have the words to pray. We are being healed at this church in Big Bear. Alex is experiencing affirmation that is so new and foreign to him that he almost can't believe it. We have already been embraced into new friendships with people who are genuine and transparent, the kind of people that I hope I am. We have met an amazing group of youth kids who in so many ways remind us of the kids in Kansas that we loved and still love, but who are also fiercely unique and lovable.



Our son is adored (I mean, how could he not be?! He's perfection) and I cry thinking of the week he was born, not knowing if or where we would dedicate him when the time came. It broke my heart to not have a church home when my first born came. And two months later, God opened the door to not only have a church home, but for us to jump in with two feet and be caught by a body of people that show us so much hospitality and warmth.

Life at this church will look different for me than being a pastor's wife did before. I'm a mom now, and I can't dedicate as much of my time or energy to the youth group as I once did. This makes me sad, but is only natural as my priority is now my son. I used to spend over 20 hours a week working on things for the youth group. I went to every event, hosted overnighters, conferences, and hang outs at our home. Some of the girls and I started a Girls Bible Study and met every week in addition to Youth Group and Sunday School. It was a full, fun, exciting time and I have such fond memories of those kids and that time. I want to pour into these kids as well, get to know them, be friends with them and teach them, encourage them and love them. I don't know exactly what it will look like yet, but I am excited.

I learned things in Kansas about churches and people, and from those lessons, there are some things I plan to do differently this time as a pastor's wife. I plan to make deep friendships with adults. I had some adult friends at our last church, but most of my time was spent with high schoolers. There was an epidemic of a lack of hospitality in our last church. Of course, there were a select few people who invited us into their homes, and vis versa, but for the most part people kept to themselves, except for fake smiles and "how are yous" on Sunday mornings. I plan to get to know the women in this church and learn from them, grow with them and live life along side them. I love how Big Bear is a small town and the locals are tight knit. I want to join in and make true lasting friendships.

I am amazed that after only a year and a half in Kansas, a handful of those friendships stuck. I am so grateful for those. After the move this past summer, we have been hesitant to plant roots. Some of that fear is still there, but we dream of staying in this mountain town for good. We dream of raising Emmett and his siblings here. Of being a part of this church and seeing it grow and thrive. Of seeing ourselves grow and thrive.

We're starting fresh, with our own stories and baggage still a part of us, but taking each day and each opportunity as it comes. We are trusting in God and in his people again, as hard as that may be some days. We are so blessed to have the chance to pursue His calling and see the pieces of our lives that we thought were shattered come together in new ways. We are so grateful. So for as long as it lasts, and no matter what may come, I am once again journeying through this life as a pastor's wife.

|| Posted by Kate ||